I read a study once that said watching Martha Stewart around the holidays, with all those good ideas and all that perfection, was more stressful than going to the dentist, paying bills and having in-laws over for dinner. As a matter of fact, the last time I watched Martha, I dreamt that I was choked to death by a big, fat to-do List. Not pretty.
If this is you, if holiday stress takes control and shakes you to your core, do not worry. Here are some tips that makes Christmas easy and the best you’ll ever have.
- You ask Santa for the great big gifts. YOU. Let’s say you have three kids and they all want X-Boxes. I guess you could give everyone their own, to put in their own room, with their own TV, to play with all by themselves. Or, you could give all three of them one to share, but that’s asking for trouble too. But, what if Santa gives YOU the X-Box. Then you can share when you want; you can shut it down when it’s time, and you get to say what is played on it because it’s YOURS. Every kid understands this code.
- What if you don’t want them to have an X-Box, but you DO want them to have sleeping bags for family camping, but they don’t want this? No problem – start now. Talk about how much fun sleeping bags are and the many cool things sleeping bags would allow them to do. Talk about this a lot. Thumb through catalogues to show pretty people in super beautiful places with their sleeping bags. Then, go to the store to touch and feel and fantasize. Ohhhhhh. How nice are these? These will be warm down to 20 degrees! See how soft? Do you like bright blue, spring green or hot red? And look! Here is a hammock that matches. You can swing in hammocks and sleep in them and stack them for really cool Instagram shots. By Christmas they will be asking Santa for sleeping bags, or whatever it is you have chosen for them to want. It’s kind of a super-power.
- Quality is better than quantity. If you get a single gift that thrills your recipient down to their toes, it’s all you need. Just one gift like that. That’s how my son ended up with a blue-tongued skink named Deboliver that, years later, moved with him to college. It was the perfect gift for him.
- Make Christmas all about the kids. The activities, the cooking, even the decorations. What decorations do your kids want, or like? Do they make them? Do you have a toddler who pulls decorations off the tree? Tie that tree solidly to the wall, then decorate the bottom with toys they CAN pull off and play with, then hang back up at night. Maybe each day a new decoration will appear on the tree for them. What would they love?
- Say NO to too many parties, over-shopping, over-stressing, anything that adds to your stress and isn’t necessary. Say YES to cookie making, movie watching, ice skating, game playing. Recapture the lost art of being together. Kids grow up and leave way, way too soon. These are their years.
- While you are making copious amounts of cookies and soup, watching every Christmas movie ever made, taking drives to see the lights, and playing all the games, leave judgmental disapproval, complaining or constructive criticism behind. Just bite your tongue if comes to that. Grace. Practice Big Grace.
- Take time and give space. With all that togetherness, everyone will need a little alone time too. Let it happen. Take it for you too. It makes giving big grace easier.
- Ask yourself every day, how do I want my kids to remember me? Then do what it takes to be that person. Christmas is loaded with anxiety, so find a way to get around it. Like marking the things off your list that don’t really have to be done. Relaxing. Or…
- Make stressful things funny. Find the twist that will makes stress okay to you. Even funny. The year I had done all the decorating and my husband couldn’t even manage the one job of dragging the Christmas tree to the curb, I was irritated. A day went by, then two, then a week, then more weeks! The sad little tree turned brown, curled up its needles and sat in the corner all alone. And by this time I was furious…until I called my friends, and we all put money in a pot. Then, like a lottery, each of us chose the date my husband would finally get around to getting the dead tree out of the house. I chose a date far away, so that I would not want him to take it out and I could look forward to the nice dinner my winnings would buy. I lost. It was fun.
- You decide. You decide what is good for you and your family. Set your own standards, intentionally, then do it. If you’re stuck and you don’t really know how, try this: List all the things you love about the holidays on one side of a piece of paper, and what stresses you on the other side. Cut out everything you can from the stressful side. Do all that you can of the fun side. You will find goodness, fun and laughter.
Merry Christmas Everyone!
